Trick-or-Treat Mayhem
by Mitzia
Summary: Haruhi and the host club go trick-or-treating for the first time. Things get a little crazy with the clueless hosts as they search for candy in the night. T for language.


"Haru-chan, what's it like going trick-or-treating?" the innocent Honey asked.

"People just dress up in costumes and go around getting candy from people," Haruhi answered.

"So what's the difference between the host club and Halloween?" the twins asked.

"That's easy. Halloween actually makes sense," Haruhi said.

"But we don't get candy," Tamaki said.

"True, but we do get a lot of money from our guests," Kyoya said.

"Greedy bastard," Haruhi mumbled.

"What was that, Haruhi?"

"Oh nothing."

The hosts sat in the club room after a long day of hosting. It was late October, only a few days from the mysterious night of the thirty-first.

"Haru-chan, can we go trick-or-treating?" Honey asked.

"Why senpai?"

"I want to dress up as a scary monster and get sweets! Ooh! Do you think they give out cake?" Honey said.

"No," Mori said.

"It's kind of boring and your feet will hurt after it all," Haruhi said.

"That's okay! I want to go trick-or-treating with Haruhi!"

"Okay, I guess we could go."

"Take us too!" the twins and Tamaki said, raising their hands.

"Hell no," Haruhi said.

"Why not?" Kaoru whined.

"You'll cause trouble."

"But we never cause trouble!"

"That's bull and you know it."

The twins giggled. "That's true. But we'll be on our best behavior!"

"I will too!" Tamaki said.

"No you won't senpai."

"Why can't I come?" Tamaki whined.

"You'll add to the trouble of these two," Haruhi said, pointing to the twins.

"And Honey-senpai won't cause trouble?" Hikaru asked.

"Not as much as you guys. I'm not taking you guys and that is final," Haruhi said. She picked up her school bag and left the club room.

"Mommy! My daughter won't take me trick-or-treating!" the King whined, grabbing Kyoya's arm.

"Get off, Tamaki," the Shadow King growled. Tamaki let go and rid behind Mori.

"So we're going trick-or-treating, right?" Hikaru said. Kaoru nodded.

"But Haru-chan said you couldn't come," Honey said.

"Haruhi said we couldn't. Can we come with you?" Kaoru asked. Honey nodded, still confused as to what they were planning. The twins exchanged high fives and left to get costumes ready for them and the other hosts.

Within a few days, it was Halloween. No one was on the streets as of yet, but in about ten more minutes, kids and their supervising adults would be filling the empty spaces.

Haruhi was getting ready to go. She wore a gothic witch dress with a corset design. The corset was black and the dress was striped with magenta and violet. A pointed witch hat rested lightly on her head and striped knee socks covered her bare legs.

The doorbell of her apartment rang and she answered it. Haruhi soon regretted opening the door when she saw the whole host club outside instead of just Honey.

"I thought I told you not to come," Haruhi said.

"You did. Honey didn't," Kaoru said. Haruhi looked at Honey who was looking at her with guilty eyes.

"I'm sorry, Haru-chan. I thought it'd be more fun if everyone came," her little senpai said. Haruhi sighed and told him it was alright.

"Now what the hell are you guys supposed to be?" Haruhi asked.

"I'm Usa-chan!" Honey exclaimed, holding up the original stuffed animal. He wore a baggy light pink suit and hat with bunny ears attached. A red ribbon was tied around his thin neck.

"Black belt," Mori said. He was in a white gi with a black belt wrapped around his lean waist.

"I'm a werewolf," Hikaru said. He was in a very hairy brown suit with a wolf ears headband on his head.

"And I'm a tiger," Kaoru said. He was in an orange suit with black stripes. A hood was attached with the face of a tiger.

"I'm the grim reaper," Kyoya said. He was in a pure black hooded robe. In his hand, he held his black notebook and a scythe.

"Daddy's an angel!" Tamaki yelled. He wore a long white robe, angel wings, and a halo.

"So everyone's somebody they're not, except for Kyoya and Mori," Haruhi said. Mori nodded and Kyoya adjusted his glasses.

"What are you suggesting, Haruhi?" Kyoya asked through his teeth.

"Oh nothing, senpai."

"Are you saying I'm not an angel?" Tamaki asked. Haruhi, Hikaru, and Kaoru all nodded. "So mean…"

"Can we go trick-or-treating now?" the twins asked impatiently. Haruhi sighed and nodded as she led the group of bishies down the street. They followed her to a small house at the end of the road.

"I hope you guys know how to do this," Haruhi mumbled to herself.

"I want to ring the doorbell!" Hikaru, Kaoru, and Tamaki yelled. They all reached for the doorbell, but hands clashed and the button was left untouched. Tamaki held his hand out and Kaoru slapped it away. His brother rang the doorbell victoriously.

"Mommy! That devil just hit me!" the angel whined to the reaper.

"You deserved it," Kyoya said.

"Damn, you really are a grim reaper," Haruhi said.

The door of the house opened and an old lady stood there, holding a Halloween themed bowl filled to the brim with different types of candy. "My, aren't you all dressed up nicely," the old lady said. She opened the door and dropped lollipops in everyone's bags. Honey's eyes lit up as he thanked the lady.

"So this is all we do?" Kaoru asked. Haruhi nodded and Honey ran down the street.

"This is so fun!" he yelled as he went to a house by himself.

"Keep a closer eye on him,"" Haruhi whispered to Mori. He nodded as he walked to the house his cousin was at. The host club followed him and saw the Usa-chan cosplayer facing a terrible situation.

The couple at the house was holding out a bowl for him and told him to pick two candies.

Honey desperately looked at every single wrapper in that bowl. There were Tootsie Rolls, lollipops, peanut butter cups, and Smarties. It was impossible for the sugar lover to pick just two candies.

A hand came from behind and randomly put two pieces of candy in Honey's bag. Honey turned to see Mori and the host club behind him.

"Ooh! Peanut butter cups!" the twins cheered as they each took two. Tamaki, Kyoya, and Mori took a Tootsie Roll and a lollipop and Haruhi took a peanut butter cup and a Smartie.

"You should run off like that senpai. That will happen again if you do," Haruhi said. The smallest boy nodded and looked at his feet.

"Let's go to that house!" Tamaki said, pointing to a house across the street. The king led his club across the street and rang the doorbell. The door opened and before he could see who answered it, Tamaki began saying, "Trick-or-treat, my dear la….dy?"

Instead of a female standing in the doorway, there was a man with glasses and messy brown hair. He looked like he was in his late twenties and had a beer belly in progress. "Um…here," the man said as he held out a bowl of candy. Tamaki mumbled a thank you as he quickly took a piece and got behind the host club to let the others take their pick.

The hosts picked their treats and followed Tamaki down the street. Hikaru and Kaoru were laughing their asses off as they walked.

"Wasn't that such a beautiful woman, boss?" Kaoru laughed. Hikaru began singing the chorus of "Dude Looks Like a Lady" by Aerosmith as he laughed.

"Guy, go to that house," Haruhi ordered. She pointed to a house with tons of Halloween decorations on the lawn. There were fake gravestones and inflatable ghosts everywhere. Two smoke machines released warm air from their hiding place in the bushes.

"Let the Shadow King go first. This is your house, right Kyoya?" Kaoru asked, nudging the grim reaper with his elbow. Kyoya growled and the tiger stopped. The Shadow King stomped to the door and rang the doorbell.

Instead of an adult answering the door, a girl no older than four dressed in a fairy princess costume answered the door. Her smiling face met Kyoya's murderous scowl. The girl frowned and slammed the door. Everyone heard crying from inside.

"Kyoya, let's leave before the cops show up," Hikaru said.

The group had Haruhi ring the doorbells at the next few houses since she was most likely not going to freak out the candy givers. The host club reached the end of the street which meant their trick-or-treating was almost over. They were about to go back to Haruhi's apartment until Honey pointed out one last house.

On another street, there was a very large house, almost like a mansion. It was made of dark bricks and stones that blended into the night. The hosts could see the windows were cracked and a faint light was inside. Shingles dangled loosely on the roof and the grass looked like it hadn't been cut in ages. In short, the house looked haunted.

"Let's go!" Honey cheered. He ran innocently to the house and waited for the club to catch up.

"Who should ring the doorbell?" Kaoru asked. Kaoru smirked as he pushed the king in front of them all.

"A-Are you sure you want m-me to do it?" Tamaki stuttered.

"What? Are you chicken? Only a 'king' should do this," Kaoru persuaded.

The word king rang in Tamaki's ears, giving the blonde newfound confidence. He turned and fearlessly pushed the small button.

"Who goes there?" a spooky voice slurred from beyond the door. The door slowly creaked open and Tamaki took a step back.

"T-t-t-trick-or-tr-tr-treat," Tamaki stuttered.

The door opened all the way and a black figure stood there. It was a man in similar robes as Kyoya. The hood was up, but no head could be seen underneath it. The figure held a bowl with an assortment of strange items, such as charms, voodoo dolls, and a familiar hand puppet.

"B-B-Beelzenef! Don't tell me this is.."

"Nekozawa-senpai's house!"

"Fufufu, how kind of you all to stop by," Nekozawa said. "Now choose your treat."

"Th-th-there aren't any treats! These are tricks!" Tamaki yelled. Him and the twins ran as far away from their senpai's house as they could.

"Fufufu, this is what I call trick-or-treating," Nekozawa laughed.

Haruhi and the rest of the hosts returned to the apartment and found their fellow hosts cowering by the stairs.

"I'm never going trick-or-treating ever again," they cried.

"Thank god. Now I won't have to worry about you idiots next year," Haruhi said.

* * *

**Author's Note**

**So a Halloween Ouran story. Never thought I'd finish this. (^_^"') I don't think it came out that well, but oh well. I didn't have many ideas while writing it...I hope you enjoyed it!**


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